Making Porn

When I told my producer that I wanted to have real orgasms for the camera, because I was worried that men were getting the wrong idea about what gets a woman off, he was very surprised to learn that I had just been acting. "Yes yes yes!" He said. "I want you to have real orgasms for the camera! I thought you were!" I explained that I thought he wanted me to put on a big show and told him that I would do it for real the next shoot.

So I came back (no pun intended) with my favorite vibrator intending to really have an orgasm for the camera. Well, he started clearing his throat and making the "pick it up" gesture that he always made when he wanted to see some more action, which is why I had never had an orgasm for the camera before. He always kept me so busy acting.

But I was going for a real orgasm, and didn't want to stop what I was doing because it felt so good. After a few seconds of him motioning for me to pick things up and me ignoring his signal and continuing to go for an orgasm, he put the camera down and said, "This isn't working." So I finally stopped what I was doing and asked him why not. He said, "What you are doing is boring! Guys aren't going to watch that. You've got to move around and make some noise in order for me to sell these videos. Make it exciting for them to watch. I know the market. Guys are not going to pay for this." I said, "So you're telling me that men are not interested in seeing women have real orgasms? All they want is for women to put on a great big fake show?" He shrugged and said, "If that's what a real orgasm is, guys aren't gonna pay to watch. It's not gonna turn them on. Men need to see something that will turn them on." I never made another porn flick after that.

I finally understood why men always lost their erections when I tried to have a real orgasm during sex with them. And why they always wanted to help, and tried to get me to hurry up what I was doing. They were bored! They wanted some action. What they always did to make it more exciting for themselves, interfered with my orgasmic process. I couldn't keep my finger on the spot with all the jiggling and massaging they were doing to try and get me off. I lost contact with my own pleasure when they tried to help out. I had to start over, and over, and over. That is why it is so much easier to have orgasms alone.

The more men tried to hurry me up, the more boring sex was for them, because they were just making the orgasm take longer for me. It only takes around 1-3 minutes for me to have an orgasm when nobody is distracting me or jiggling me. But when they stop me, and I have to start over, I am unlikely to ever get there. If I do, it's not as intense as it would have been if they'd stayed out of my way and let me go for it. Because there is a window of opportunity that maximizes my pleasure. I can tell when I am getting near an orgasm. If somebody tries to help me out at that point, it distracts me, and the distration is very frustrating. If I have to postpone my orgasm for too long, it won't be as intense.

But when a man can connect with me, and I trust him enough to surrender, allowing his body take me over the edge with him, my orgasm will be even more intense than when I do it for myself alone. Problem is it hasn't been possible for me to connect with very man men that way. That is why I teach The Intimate Dance...

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