First Comment on Cuomo Ordeal

I've been sexually harassed at several jobs, so I am not without sympathy for women. But I've also been falsely accused of sexually harassing a young man. And I quite honestly wasn't the least bit attracted to him. He thought I wanted to have sex with him, even though I didn't, because I was older than he was and he had been seduced by another older woman. But I truly had less than zero sexual interest in him. There was no way to prove it, however. Ultimately, I ended up leaving the job. I've also left jobs because I was being sexually harassed. Seems the women are always the ones to leave.

I don't know what to think about all this. Cuomo certainly doesn't seem like a man who would have any trouble finding a woman to have sex with. But aging is a very difficult process. He probably still sees himself as he did when he was young. And the interns think of him as a dirty old man because he's so affectionate, although he can seem like a bully when annoyed about something. Is it safe for an older touchy feely friendly man to employ young women when he tends to get gruff if he is displeased? How does any man lead women without them turning on him if things don't go their way, given human nature to get even? I'm not sure it's possible, especially these days.

I suspect the Italian culture played a role in this. Should we go so far as to blame it on Mommy and Daddy? Probably not. But I do believe it when he says his actions were misinterpreted. I can also believe he was confused and thought the women were interested in him. Wishful thinking and the ego makes that kind of thing possible. Every man wants to believe women are attracted to them, whether they are or not. The male ego was designed by a biological imperative to sow the seed. It's also easy to believe that some of the women were actually attracted to him, or at least the powerful position. Having sex with the governor. Woo hoo. That kind of thing appeals to a lot of upwardly mobile aspiring females.

Of course he had a responsibility to discourage it. Somebody made the decision to transfer his accuser. Was it him? How did she feel about losing her position? It was such a prestigious position. Did she view it as a demotion? Did she think she was bing punished by the transfer? Did she believe he should have been punished, not her? The answer to the last question is obvious. Many people who feel rejected and unfairly punished are prone to bitter revenge. It's unfortunate, but human nature. And, sexual harassment needs to stop. It takes a lot of courage to do what she has done. Most women end up regretting it, or at least going through a period of regret.

All of his options were risky. He couldn't just hire men, that would be sexual discrimination. If he ever actually got involved with one of the young women working for him he would be called a pervert. But that seems to be what he was hoping for. What older man doesn't feel attracted to younger women? What older man doesn't hope women will interpret their admiration as a compliment? Many are quite shocked and devastated to realize that is not the case. Case in point. Many can never believe the women were not attracted to them. They simply tell themselves that women can't handle rejection.

If Cuomo had gotten into a relationship with a woman half his age, people would have called him a pedophile. If he really believed she was interested in him, and why not if she was talking to him about getting her butt tattooed, how was he supposed to discourage it without offending her? He probably thought she liked him and wanted to let her know he was interested in the possibility of a relationship without pressuring her or making her feel uncomfortable. No matter what, however, he was in a no win. There was nothing he could do that wouldn't be criticized by some faction, and/or the women themselves.

Remember when Anita Hill accused Clarence Thomas? A lot of people still believe she did it out of revenge because she wanted a relationship and he rejected her. But she had 4 witnesses who were not allowed to testify. Talk of pubic hairs on coke cans does not make a woman want to have a relationship. Quite the contrary. It makes you think a guy wants to have disrespectful sex with you.

The same people who stand by Clarence Thomas are very eager to see Cuomo in jail. I doubt Clarence meant any harm. But I think his behavior was even more inappropriate and less respectful of women than Cuomo's. Yet Clarence got appointed to the Supreme Court. And it looks like Cuomo is probably going to end up in court defending himself. It would be interesting to see how Justices Thomas and Kavanough might rule on the Cuomo case. I bet they would jump at a chance to (try and further) exonerate themselves by ruling in favor of the ladies at the expense of the democrats. It's all such a game. This, in the interest of justice.

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